Personal Development and Spirituality Topics

with Karen Scheel

Healing Relationship

Most of us spend our lives bumping into each other and jumping from one relationship to the next searching for love and companionship. We fall in love and then like a light switch, we turn that love off and move on to the next relationship when the fire begins to heat things up. However, what many of us do not realize is that on an energetic level, invisible cords to every soul we know or have ever known connect us all. Emotional bonds between family members, friends and especially those involving intimate relations create strong cords that remain intact long after the person is gone. I began to learn more about these invisible cords during my first vision quest many years ago. I was on top of a mountain, fasting and praying to deepen my connection with the spiritual realms (God) when out of nowhere, the image of a man I had briefly dated showed up in my mind wearing black leather – he took a quick look around and was gone in a flash. I was dumbfounded to say the least because that relationship had been long over, or so I had thought. His appearance there had me wondering what was up – was he trying to tell me he had died?  If this was the case then what was I supposed to do with that information on top of a mountain, and how was he connected to my purpose for being there?

After seeing his image, I began to think about our relationship, which had ended on a negative note and without closure because I had not allowed this. I was feeling hurt the last time we saw each other – I would not listen to anything he had to say. I remembered throwing a letter he had written for me back in his face before stomping off to my car to drive away. We were done and nothing more need be said. Wrong! Like many of us when it comes to a failed relationship, I took on the role of playing the victim, placed blame, and made him wrong. This role pulled me deep into feeling the various high-low ranges of my emotional body. In other words, I completely lost my mind and went crazy on an emotional roller coaster ride that had me going all over the place. It took several months for me to heal my wounded self, which had nothing at all to do with him and was all about me. I knew at the core of my being that he was just a mirror reflecting some dark corners that needed some cleaning, but I was not ready to own this truth at that time.

The last memory to come through concerned a specific conversation along with the uneasy feeling his words had created. I remembered a little alarm bell sounding off after he relayed that he believed that all relationships begin in the mind first. At that time, my development was pushing me towards consciously working on trying to move away from that state of “thinking love” to “feeling love.” Minds think – hearts feel. Case in point, there is no mind or thinking involved when it comes to  loving your child or pet – you just love them with all their flaws. I had somewhat mastered the art of mind tripping when it came to relationship and wanted to switch things up and explore this other way to love. However, this man’s beliefs clearly indicated that he was not ready to live in that other state with me. Rather than pay attention to my inner signals and hear him, I pushed forward and paid the price for not listening, and then tried to make him pay a price for being who he was.

Sometime after my return home, I decided to try to locate this man and learned that he was still very much alive and married. Turns out, his appearance on my quest not only had me doing some work around my bad behavior with him and other relations, but also opened a door to show me how the cords that connect us all work. Additional teachings followed several years later when a number of souls in my life decided to check out (die) and head home in the early years of 2000. Other than one friend, all were unexpected – there was no warning or preparation time whatsoever. Two of my three longstanding pets checked out first, a few friends were next and then my mother followed. Talk about coming up against abandonment issues and feeling like an orphan. It does not matter what age you are or what your relationship was like – when my mother died this is what I felt. Maybe the orphan feelings had much to do with her belly being my first stop before coming to the planet along with our relationship being the longest of them all. Whatever the case may be, these multiple and significant losses had me feeling completely alone and hurled me like a missile into an intensive learning period packed full of processing and assimilation work to keep myself from disappearing completely into that emotional state of utter grief.

Up until these losses, my grandparents were the only souls closely connected to me on the other side. I had asked both to promise that if there were a way then they would come through to help me learn more. However, I did not completely trust my sensing or dreams involving them back then – maybe I was imagining it?  My relationship with my mother was quite volatile while she was here but she had also committed to the very same promise. After her physical death, the veils lifted and she dropped the heavy baggage she had been carrying in this life, which opened the door for us to have another kind of relationship that I absolutely love. Shortly after restoring some balance between my mental and emotional body, my mother began to come through with messages/information pertaining to my life and the lives of my siblings that could not be chalked up to my over active imagination. My animals also began to show up, and then my grandparents who had been quiet for many years joined the soul gathering. In my little mind, there could be no doubt that all, including my pets had honored their promise. (OK, this is for those that might be wondering. Yes, during the course of our years together, I even spoke with my pets and asked them to come through if they could because they were not just fur balls but were good friends that taught me much about the spiritual healing realms.)

So where am I going with this story? Up on the mountain, the spirit realms cracked the door open to show me that there is no ending to any relationship – even if you never see the person again. Years later, this truth came through in a much bigger way via the deaths of several folks and critters closely connected to me. No matter what, the cords remain in tact – we always remain connected – the lines of communication always remain open. Therefore, we might want to slow ourselves down and not be so quick to leave a relationship before we have completed, because not completing creates a karmic debt that keeps us cycling back to planet earth and through the various relationships. The stage setting and actors may change, but the underlying lesson is always the same. No doubt, the institution of marriage has definitely become a joke. The divorce rate alone reflects this truth – even Einstein could not figure out how to make his marriage work! With the exception of a handful of friends, most of mine are working on their second, third and fourth marriage. Whenever a marriage fails, I usually hear the same reasons – “It’s the other spouse.” Ha! From my perspective, that “for better or worse etc”  no longer seems to apply, and “for as long as it feels good” might be a more accurate vow. Not to mention and as per my Grandfather’s teachings, “all we really have in this world is our word.” Therefore, it might be a good practice for us to work more on saying what we mean and meaning what we say, or not say anything at all, especially when it concerns taking an oath before God and our entire circle of family and friends.

Bottom line, changing people is not like changing clothes. It is imperative to allow time for authentic healing and closure to occur with each relationship before moving on and/or entering into another intimate relationship. Otherwise, the same dysfunctional pattern will follow us until we work it out. There is no escape – we have all come here to further our spiritual development, period. The people that we are born into or those that enter our lives are keys for doing this. Additionally, through my teaching and healing practice, I have come to know beyond any shadow of doubt that dodging our lessons eventually hits us right where we live – our bodies.  One of the first things you learn in psychology 101 is that 85% to 95% of this world is dysfunctional. Therefore, if our mental body is not functioning properly then it is not in alignment with the spiritual realms, which means our physical body is the only recourse left. Unfortunately, our early education does not teach how our bodies speak to us. Nor do we learn how each body part reflects our mental and emotional states. Dis-ease and imbalance within the body is our Spirit (God) trying to call our attention to a teaching that we are not fully getting.  Many women carry unhealed issues involving their mothers and past lovers, which can affect their reproductive organs. In part, sexually transmitted diseases reflect that we are not thoroughly allowing enough time for healing and closure between sexual relations with different people. The list goes on but one thing is certain, our world is reflecting the trip we have been running is so over. We are running on empty, and eventually, the spiritual realms will win this longstanding battle of dark (unconscious) versus light (conscious). Our insanity will end. We will get back on track with our soul purpose, which is healing our relationship with all life – human, animal, plant and mineral. Aho! May this be so!

2 Comments on “Healing Relationship” so far.

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  1. Great article Karen! Thanks so much for sharing! 🙂

  2. Karen, so many people don’t realize these cords are there, transmitting wasted energy, sucking in toxic energy, and don’t see the hazards of poor closure in relationships. This article really clarifies that to people who don’t understand why they feel so badly when feeling bad doesn’t make sense. I’d love to see an article about sustaining meaningful “connections” with people. Great thoughts!

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